Undivided Self

September will always be the busiest month I have.

First, I have to attend in extensive debate training in preparation for the Sep 18 and 19 University Debate Championship.

CEFP team is compose of: Ginette Lopez- PM and DLO from BPS 2-1 which is also the PSS 2nd year rep.; Jezza Lizette Lizano-LO from BPS 3-2 which is also a CEFP Councilor; and yours truly-Whip.

I knew very well these people and they are really close to me. We have been through tedious trainings since the 1st week of September. We go to school just to train and went home late. We had overnight last week in Imperial Palace-which my Demosthenes team won and thanks to them they contributed it to SOD. Then, just last night we had it in our house.

I am now having more and more excitement and hope to win and finally finish this adventure I may say. Please AMA help us!

With this, I compromise lots of things. First, the PSS. I am always having hard life being a President of such organization compose of people who always think they are the most intelligent human being, who always just part of the problem, who always criticize and that's it. Thankfully there are those who stay supportive and optimistic with my leadership. Thanks to them for keeping me alive. Hehe...
Now, I can't focus on the thigns I have to do. Just like now the COSOA is trying to take advantage over us.

My academics which is my life and my very existence. I am no longer have time to review my cases and oh which worried me so badly because tomorrow is our mock bar. The sign which will be my determinant if i will continue my law dreams. another is our thesis, OMG!! we have to revise chapter 1-3. Thanks to Pravis for being there checking our thesis.

Other opportunities which i set aside for this University debate. Democracy Camp, I was suppose to be the representative of PUP which paid everything for the said camp. however i can' be, the date of 16-19 is very important for the Univ. Debate.

my friends who complain that i have no time for them...

my family who also complain for my late arrival at home, of my non staying at home, of course of my allowance that should be 3 days only.

my boyfriend.... anyways he understand... smile... hehe...

my self, i know i have to have rest, i feel discomfort with my body, im no longer feeling well.

and most importantly, AMANG SQOPQUZ. i have to still be good daughter despite those stress and unlikely people around me...

i just need to focus on debate. then i'll be normal again after next week. excited!!

purple wedding theme..

bkit kea q ganto...

im surfing the net to look for wedding gowns, theme, cakes, etc..

it's too early for this...

sb nga ng utak ko bhala dw akong umasa...

heheh...

acceptance

i experienced my most up and down in my college years. it taught me different lessons which are learned gradually. and the most well learned lesson i keep from those experiences is the lesson to "forgive and love yourself." it made me realize that loving and forgiving other person is easier that give it to yourself.

there are times in life which we didn't understand, like we didn't even think a glimpse of it, yet it came. it could be good, and sometimes bad. in every situation, it's up to us to act on such things. but then, why we acted differently on what we think and know is right. why did we acted to that situation adversely to our principles and the norms of what is right and wrong. it is a shame that we let ourselves fell down despite having the ways not to fall down. why is it that we are composed of contradictory things, while we are only one being? why can't we just act on the manner our head thinks, or sometimes why can't we do the opposite. with this, who shall be blame? the situation, the people, the fate but neither of them is right. we shall blame ourselves. the ability to discern what is right and wrong is the only gift which made us different from any creations of God. but people seldom use it.

and i'm one of them. why it's so hard to discipline ourselves.

with this, i mostly hate myself for being damn. damn enough to let it happened to me which i know i have the control. but i couldn't let hatred eaten me up. if i let myself hate me, then i wouldn't be capable of loving others. that's why i really struggle to love and accept myself. i want to forgive myself infinitely. as bible says, "forgive your brothers seven times." loving others should be the same as your standard of loving yourself.

ergo, i'm learning to accept the Careen - imperfect and weak. i should love myself despite everything not because of. if i want unconditional love, then i must let myself a witness of it. i need to let it be experience by myself.

careen, i love you for what you are.

i love your insanities, your nastiness, your imperfections, your weakness, your damness, your ugliness, your being bobo, and everything. i love everything in you. i accept who i am and always proud.

Twilight saga..

REVIEWS: TWILIGHT SAGA

I decided to make reviews on the favorite books I read. Well actually I was planning to start it with the Twilight Saga-authored by Stephenie Meyer. I would like to have the complete background, information, and essentials I needed. It would not be a typical review, I mean….

Of course, I would be really happy to have the complete collection of John Grisham’s book. I’m really fascinated to him. He would always be my number 1.

Then, since I have Harry Potter’s series in my e-book I also plan to have such. Though, I’m really late this time, however, I believe JK will never be out of time.

So what exactly I’m planning?

Hmmm,,,, quotable quotes could be, but I know it would be kind of hard, since I have to verge deeply on the lines and be alerted every time I find one. Ah,,,, its quite an agony. Hehe,,,,

So would that mean I have to read it again, oh no… I believe I don’t have the luxury of time… but I wanted it. Oh! My mind is having a debate, the lazy and practical versus the hardworking and ideal. Which to choose would be in accordance of my mood.. hehe…

Okay, focus now…

TWILIGHT

It hits the world like a hurricane.. Every body is addicted to it, everyone knows it, and if you are not, then pity for you.

Twilight is about a romance on the fiction set-up but on non-fiction emotions for human senses. Scream out the name of Edward Cullen and Isabella Swan, Bella for short.

It’s a rare love story for it emerged between the love of a human and a vampire-an exquisite scene that a whimsical reality would only bring.

Bella a newbie to school came from the sunny ordinary Phoenix to the dump, and rainy, and bewilder Forks. Her parents were separated, her mom-Renee with her new husband-Philip. Her dad, Charlie lives alone with his honorable work as cop.

Being new in school would be tantamount of having the attention of every one, except for the Cullens-who are known for being snob.

It is in her dreams and mind that something intrigues her with the Cullens, most specially with that of Edward.

She had friends and suitors as well.

One vivid, unpredictable accident happened. Edward saved Bella from the cry of death. On hows and whys, she didn’t know. Unknowingly, she didn’t think that event would draw them closer to each other. In an improbable way, secrets are opened. Conversations happened.

Until such time that irrationality eaten them up, until love conspicuously bonded them-they, have fallen in love with each other.

Times, consequences trial and put them into tests. However, even death would not let them go. The riskier the better.

Vampires who prey in human are inevitable for them to be carefree and eat Bella. But Carlisle-the doctor and the original vampire among them all change their diet and became successful of it. It’s a temptation that a rigid and tedious discipline one could only bear it. For us, it is an inevitable sin to be avoided.

Bella, was accepted by the family, at first its hard but eventually she is loved by them.

One day, Bella was invited to be with the Cullens to hunt. Along their way, they met one of their kinds. With Bella’s sweet scent, James wanted her badly.

Because of this, Bella’s life was in danger. Things happened fast, though they tried to protect her, they lost. Bella was tricked by James and got her. However, love and happy ending always find her way, she was saved by Edward.

With that, an option came, Bella wanted to be a vampire.

Maybe, that’s how love goes, you would sacrifice everything, even your soul, just for love…

I wish I would be able to feel such things,,, hehe..

Ah, no I don’t think so.. I don’t want to lose my rationality!!

NEW MOON

Bella insisted to become a vampire, which Edward don’t want her to be.. he loves her as human, thought humanness makes her weak, he’ll be her strength. Though, it could make her old, his eyes would see through her youthfulness…

These things, make Edward left Bella. He felt that he do not deserve Bella losing her soul for him,

At first, Edward thought that it would make it better, let’s see if he’s right.

Bella, became nowhere. It would come a time that she was a living dead. Thanks Jacob, her friend he met in La Push. Jacob was showy of Bella about her feelings. Though she wanted to try, she could not fort the attachment Edward had made, keeps her holding on.

Crazy for Edward’s return, Bella got into the woods. Then suddenly, Laurent-the vampire whom they met with James saw Bella. He told her that Victoria-Jame’s mate hunts her.

With trembling legs, cloudy minds, she wasn’t able to run. Then, here came the big, monster-like wolves. They saved her form getting eaten of Laurent. She saw one of the wolves eyes, that made her remind of someone-Jacob.

Then, after that abrupt lost of contact from Jacob, he decided to make up with her. He told her everything about what happened and that opened Bella to another inhuman touch of reality. Her best friend Jacob is a wolf for they exist because of the vampires. Her Edward and her Jacob couldn’t be friends.

To the extreme of her wanting to Edward, she jumped off the cliff.

Because of Alice’s psychic ability, she was able to see it and told it to Edward.

Though Bella wanted to die at that moment, fate won’t her. Jacob for another time saved her.

On her way home, she was surprised of Alice presence.

Edward, not feeling of living anymore, because he thought Bella, his life, his own was dead, he came to Volturri in Italy. These Volturri were the most gifted, ancient and powerful vampires among their kinds.

Alice with Bella threw themselves in Italy. To the best timing, Bella saved Edward of asking his death from the Volturri.

But its not over, they are all in danger-Alice, Bella and Edward.

Because of Bella’s gift-having no one permeated in her mind, she was able to amaze the Aro-the eldest among the Volturri. He had given them another chance. Bella should become a vampire, and they would check on her.

They safely backed to Forks.

The Cullens decided to make her their kind after the graduation.

Their reconciliation brought so much pain for Jacob.

Bella was hurting too. He loves Jacob as a friend, and a friend won’t make pain for a friend.

Now Bella needs to choose between a vampire a wolf….

ECLIPSE

Bella and Edward reunited. Jacob came into the picture which thrills the story. Bella have to choose.

Victoria made her army-fresh vampires, ready to eat and are hungry of bloods. Because of this, it’s the cause of the continuous murders & crime in the city.

With this, Cullen’s family with the Pack of wolves agreed to take care of Bella and the people in town. Here is the real time to choose to whom Bella will share her life with.

Viltouri on the other hand is looking for Bella’s transformation. They came just right after the fight between Victoria’s army and the cooperation of Cullens and the wolves.

At the end, Bella still chose Edward over Jacob which caused him so much pain that he have to go away.

BREAKING DAWN

It is the last book on the saga. So, as expected, Edward and Bella got married. Then, Bella still human, bore a child. Because of the accidents happened before, the vampires and the pack planned to kill the child. However, Bella didn’t let them.

To protect her, Jacob broke into the pack. He left them with Seth and Leah.

Bella suffered an immeasurable agony. She was to die, when Edward thought that the only thing to keep her alive is his venom. Weeks passed, and finally after that distress she transferred into a proper and well composed vampire.

The baby named Renesmee is really such beautiful child, a half human and vampire one. Nobody expected that Jacob would be imprinted to Renesmee, so he promised to stick with her forever.

On their way hunting, one of the vampires saw Renesmee and told the story to the Volturi.

Alice is alarmed. She saw everything in her vision. She and Jasper went away with the family and other family came to testify before the Volturi.

Almost all the family of vampires came from the different parts of the globe. At first, they do not want to be included nor testify but they allowed Renesmee to touch them and they understand and saw everything.

Voulturi is a great wall to bump on, a very powerful family with each member having the special gifts.

Everyone prepared. Bella discovered her gift, and that is her sheet of protection that could seal them against any perpetrator.

The day came. The Voulturi came. Everyone is ready to fight but hoping not to because of the possibilities of dying. After some talk, after Irina testified she wasn’t sure, she was burned by Airo.

When everything was about to fight for their freedom, Alice and Jasper came with the same kind of life like that of Renesmee who lived hundred of years ago.

Then they it settled the dispute.

The Voulturi went away.

Each family bid goodbye to each other and went their way.

And that ends the story.

A happy ending. ^^

________________

So quotations and detailed narration is obviously absent in my reviews. Meaning my laziness won over my idealistic mind. Hehe…

Plans...

Actually I'm quite lazy to think of appropriate words for my reviews that's why I quit and entertained the new ideas in my cerebral.

I'm planning to have a blog - a complete one - I was inspired by Ma'am Daye, my future professor in Introduction to Law.

I. I decided to have it categories this way. Bookworm-

I. I decided to have it categories this way. Bookworm-wherein I will put on my reviews on books, it would be on this order-Twilight by Stephenie Meyer, John Grisham’s books with no particular order, since it wasn’t a series one; and Harry Potter.

II. Next would be my College Life- 1^st year hindsight comprises of my experiences and the highlight would be my ROTC experience. 2^nd year-same as usual.. 3^rd year-my PSS experience, debate, tagaytay and baguio, etc. 4^th year-my future-let’s wait for it.

III. Leadership section would be highlighting my deepest thoughts about my PSS experience, its struggles and how to overcome such.

IV. Truth-would be about my faith to AMA. I hope this is not an issue, I mean, I would be posting HIM in the net, without HIS permission. Double thinking…

V. Love life- the spice that I think would make it lovely. I would do it in a fictional way so as to protect the characters.. hehe.. since I would like to write romantic novels like that of Nicholas Sparks.

VI. Character-that would be all sided of Careen-my family, friends, everything.

VII. Issues-a worth thinking one. I would like to post my opinion in different important issues local and internationally.

So I do have 7 sections or categories in all. I’m planning to have it finish until my 4^th year. I hope I would.

It also mean my life would be an open book to everyone.. well, not so until I brag it…. Just to express my thoughts I think that would not hurt me that bad…

Sayonara>> ^^

weird dreams

I have been having weird dreams which made me bothered...

I know dreams are just dreams but I can't help myself thinking and thinking and thinking...

I called a friend, it eased a little, then it's back again...

I confronted it, it eased more.

I could control my mind, my emotions...

Better to focus on my thesis...

They stressing me out...

I was sick last thursday.

When we were going to Greenwoods to visit our house, I felt something wrong and when we were there, it started. I had a really bad tummy, I felt cold and my eyes wanted to shut down. I asked my tatay to drive us back.

At home, it all happened. I vomited heavily, it's my first time since I was in elementary. I prayed hard and thanked GOD for healing me and I'm feeling better right now. Looking back, I don't know what was the cause. They said I was "nabalis" but I don't believe in those.

One thing I'm sure, I am stressed out. Why?

It's because of the re validation of Political Science Society (PSS) in Commission of Student Organizations and Accreditations (COSOA). It's been two weeks since we are working with it. We completed all the requirements for the accreditation and what made me problematic? It's because of our Constitution. They wanted us to revise it because it violates provision in the Student Hand Book which expressed "voluntary membership" and "liberty to dress." Our Constitution they said violated it in our provisions in membership and the wearing of uniform. We answered those issues, we presented it through our resolutions. We have spoken to the Chair, we have spoken to the Dean, we made all actions necessary to addressed it.Thank God, we got a positive response from the Dean and hope the Chair somehow open his mind.

We only have 1 week left to process this, 1 week and the PSS will be revalidated! If not, I don't know what other diplomatic ways I will do... I'm praying really hard.

These things don't left me, even in my dreams. I still vividly remember the moment I'm chilling and having a fever, I dreamt of arguing and defending our constitution, our organization and my convictions with them.

I hope this would be a success for the PSS!

Help us GOD!!

I have attached the resolution we made..